These words arn't for you,

One of the main reasons i'd sort of like a birlfriend again is snuggling. snuggling is the greatest. and after previously dating someone that wasn't that into snuggling i've realised how much of a priority it is for me. non-snugglers is a deal breaker.

I still don't know where things are at with sydney girl. We're just doing what we're doing, enjoying each other and whatevers going on. She originally said she wasn't looking for anything right now and for some reason this made me think her view of a relationship is tainted right now. I know her last relationship was a bit messy. She made a comment on the phone last week though that makes me think she may have some serious feelings for me. My feelings for her could easily deepen if i let them.
For now i think we're both happy just liking each other, respecting each other and caring about each other without trying to force anything out of it or trying to box each other in.

I met another lady a few weeks ago through a thing we both go to and we seem to have some like/attraction for each other and had a make out session at the pub two weeks ago. We arranged to 'hang out' this weekend so she came over yesterday and shirts disappeared. It was pretty nice, she's pretty cute and attractive and i like her personality. I think we're going to get to know each other some more so that's nice.

sex right now would be nice.

pulling together all my spare change to run off to see a girl in sydney at very short notice.
crazy?

My roller derby name would be Sophie McSwoon
because that's what i'd make the girls do
swoooon

haha maybe?

just wow.

We finally have the internet at home yay! Though this computer is about a billion years old and is slower than a snail with a limp. but it was free.

Things i've been dooing lately
- got a hair cut after growing it out since i last shaved it in april. it's hot.
- been feeling really content lately :)
- crushing out on a girl in another state. lame.
- writing a lot which is awesome
- trying to resist the urge to spend my money
- missing people. so many good friends have moved away this year, seven to be exact. :(
- landed this pretty cool job
- also i don't know why but i've been really horny lately haha
- ummm that's all?

i might be going to island vibe this weekend, all really depends on if we go on saturday or not. i went last year and it was amazing! might drop acid.


x

Some body should make a dance mix from the noises an MRI machine makes. It'd be pretty rad, trust me.

so i uh got an EEG today.
for those that don't know its that test with all the wires going from your head and a needle makes a pretty picture. hopefully it can tell me something about why im having these fits. epilepsy would suck. really really badly.
i get the results tomorrow. uh i'm sure it's nothing. stress related? sex stresses me out? haha

i want to go to the uk in febraury. i'm gonna get a second job and saveee and get the fuck out of here. i hate brisbane.

girlfriend please.

mannn fuck! so i bought that usb broadband thingo right and then my computer goes and dies on me. what the fuck. technology hates mes.
but then a friend who is looking to get rid of his stufffs said that i could have his old laptop. have. as in free. as in pretty fkn sweeet.
i'm at my brothers house (not the one i'm currently living with) and this mouse is fucked, i have to get it exactly in the right spot to click on anything. annnnoying.

work is super. but i want more hrs = more pay. second job k thnkz. also there's this cuute girl that works at a cafe sort of near mine and since my cafe doesn't sell soy (because they suck) i always go to hers but i always get served by this guy. lame. so i haven't actually talked to her yet haha.
i haven't yet put in my tax return and i may still use that money to buy a brand new lappy. though i really should use it to pay a debt.
novel is super.

life is good.

oh, william,
i miss you heaps :(
you'll be here for new years yes?
i miss going to parties in dresses with you.
i think you should buy some hot boots to wear with them.
and check out v.v. brown. do it.
ps,
how's ya mum? ;)

blahh. late night cuddle date anyone?

well like heyyyy!
i have the internet! i bought one of those pre-paid broadband things.
update?
i have a job finally, at a cafe at eagle street in the city. it's pretty alright. it's the only job i've ever had that i've actually liked. crazy concept. the hours and pay are awesome. and it's in a corporate building so no weekend work ever ever ever evereverevevreveveve! fkn awesome!
also apparently everyone i know seems to take my bus i've run into someone every frk day on the bus. including two girls i used to date. a little awkward. jane, the infamous jane.
there's a girl that lives across the road that looks exactly like an ex girlfriend of mine. and i mean exactly, separated at birth type of exactly.
umm what else you say hmmm.. what else?
i gave a boi my number last week and he never called. lame but oh well.
i need a new place to live, looking for something on the north side around alderley, gaythorn, mitchy area. housemates?

lovelovelovelovelove

I'm applying at krispy kreme because i think working there will be like a lame joke you can't help but laugh at. their application is so fucking long though. wtf does it take to sell donuts, seriously.
also i'm going to write this application while being extremely honest.

Krispy Kreme would like to know some extra information to help them with your application.

haha.


and

Things i've put on other applications...
- "so hire me or you know like don't but you should"
- "have a peachy day!"
- "i'm overqualified for this job but i'm applying anyway"
- "job plz, k thnx"

i'm trying to bring back the honesty in job applications, it's fun!

job adverts that say 'must be well presented'
because i know i'm not most peoples idea of well presented.
i'll take out my piercings if i have to but i basically look like a queer. deal with it.

ending job applications with 'have a peachy day!' might not get me hired either.

i'm so not build for working for other people. i want my own cafe and anything goes.

Well hellooo children of the tech revolution... i sure do miss having the internet :(
Not having a job to do five days a week makes me feel like i'm doing far more drugs than i actually am. it probably doesn't help that i get drugs for freeee and don't actually need any moneys to keep up a habit. but it's not a habit.
i think i'm getting swiiine even though i haven't been sharing bongs :( so much for caution.
i kid, it's probably just the flu.. but i know i'm gonna get hella sick because it always starts with a sore throat and well i have a sore throat. 100% positive i'm going to feel like hell by the end of the week.

i have been doing the following things as of late

• looking for a job
• watching dvds
• getting stoned
• wishing i had money to do real stuff
• eating food and getting fat

I can't wait to just get some money together so i can run off and study. also i usually spend most of my writing time in cafes but since i can't afford to buy coffee i haven't been cafe hopping, because not ordering anything would be weird, and rude? so my wiriting has been suffering lately. welll i'm not writing as much as i normally would.
i'm offically a struggling writer. no job and trying to write a novel.. thats the definition right?

i have a new project i want to venture into tooo, but i need some money. see the common theme here? also i sort of want to move out of my brothers first and into my own type of place thing. this project needs space. i need space.

i had a strange dream last night about a girl i used to know.
we're no longer friends because she fooled around with my then girlfriend. in my bed. while i was asleep.
a couple of months ago i walked past her in a supermarket, we were wearing the same shirt. true story.

i worry a bit that i think too much. i'm so in my head lately. i think it's because i've been writing less. i think i'd go insane without being able to write. i spend too much time thinking about how much i think.

so children reply, update me, tell me what you've been doing
and give me some money!
or just take me out for coffee.

So i was stealing wireless internet from a house near mine but they have put a password on it :( bastards.
it really, really suck not having a job. or money.

- i really want to get a new bike

- bikes are so sexy

- i want to get fitter, i've put on 3 kilos in the last two months. lame. i feel like a slob.

- being poor doesn't leave a lot of room for eating really healthy. i hate it. also adds to the slob like feelings. i hate not eating healthy.

- living with kids makes things slightly less fun. like no getting wasted on red wine at home and making messy art. super lame. this flat is small and echoes.

- i haven't spent much time around my brother since we were young teenagers. i'm currently staying with him and his not yet two yr old son. my brother is nice and is doing pretty well for himself. much better than anyone expected. he has a pretty big drug history. he's a good person.

- i really want a new book or books to read. library friday.

- i want a new dress too. actually i always like buying new dresses. such a girl.

- i think i'm going to get my period tomorrow

- man, i really want a new dress haha

- i have so much shit i should have done this week. i'm busy tomorrow, friday i need to get into gear.

- also i have a job interview tomorrow. job interviews are weird. i don't really get nervous because i've been the interviewer in the past and know it's pretty silly being nervous. but i just find them uncomfortable. i hate small talk and all that jazz. i like working fast paced, i'd rather just go in show them my shit then leave.

- i want to go out, like seriously go out and rip it up but i have no moneys :(

- i hate when people pay for me when i have no moneys and want to go out

- here's a fact for you.. i hate ordering. like at restaurants or cafes etc. usually i ask dates/girlfriends and friends to order for me. i just hate it. i don't know why. worst feminist ever. i feel so submissive when i'm at a table and the other person is like "and she'll have..." but i just ah hate ordering.

- same goes for buying shit. i hate check outs.

- is this list long enough?

- my headphones died. tears. i'd don't think i've gone without my ipod this long since i got it about two years ago. i'm going nuts. i neeed music every where i go. ah.

- hair should grow faster when we want it to and then just stop growing.

- i'd like to meet a nice girl and do nice things with her.

You were an overcomplicated mistake. I can't wait for this to past me by. I don't want to think about you.
oh and by the way, you're not a nice person. wake up.